Richard Thoday 60 ‘At any point it is okay to change life trajectory and start in a new direction…’ I met Richard at a secondary school we were both working at. He was automatically a work father type-figure. A brilliant TA, a problem solver… and one of the nicest men I have ever met. He is one of those rare people who is completely selfless. He genuinely wants to help people, and support them in any way he can. When I was struggling with my mental health last year due to work issues, Richard was one of the first to not only message but come and meet me to talk. It turns out he had had a similar experience. He told me that there was a big world outside of my current situation; it was so comforting to hear- and turns out he was right! He is a Guinness world record holder, a fixer of most things, and an all round decent chap. It has been a pleasure interviewing him, and I hope you enjoy the result... I sense a movie of his life in the works [I vote Tom Hanks as lead!] How would you describe yourself? I would describe myself as harmless, slightly lazy but never bored. Disliking of conflict and I like to see the best in everyone. Glass half full rather than half empty sort of person. How would others describe you? ‘Mr Nice Guy’ That’s definitely true! Is that a natural thing for you or do you have to bite your tongue every now and again? Being Mr Nice Guy is not an act, it’s the real me. I don’t know what makes us all different, so many factors that come together, but I really don’t like conflict. I understand that it’s a necessary part of life at times but I’d rather be without it if possible. So how do you deal with conflict when it is unavoidable? Seeing the best in people and living with a glass half full is lovely… but it means that at times I avoid conflict which means that issues go unresolved and build, then I put my head in the sand or run away. How was it working in a school? Working in a secondary school over a period of ten years moved from a challenging, interesting and very sociable experience, one where Mr Nice Guy can thrive and share, to feeling totally defeated, crushed and isolated. It became an unsustainable lifestyle which I had to leave. That particular job is not one for Mr Nice Guy any more. That is so sad… especially as I believe schools desperately need people like you! The thing that still makes me sad is that so much of life is wasted in school both for pupils and staff. There is a huge amount of good work done in schools, but the pupils I worked with on the whole hate being there, as do a lot of staff. That’s probably a sad truth…what is wrong in education nowadays? Education has been with us for a very long time and really hasn’t changed much since Victorian times. Education goes through trends and fads but is still based on the learning of facts which must be remembered and regurgitated in the right way. In general pupils can’t see the relevance of this for future life. Some can do this and will comply but many can’t do this and spend their whole school life railing against it rather than school seeking the skills or passions they have and nurturing them. I have no direct answers but felt increasingly unable to help the misfit pupils who were really crying out for help. I’ve moved through several big career changes in my working life and don’t regret them but I feel disappointed with myself that I could not see a way to resolve issues with school and, as I said before, simply ran away. I think sometimes the bravest thing we can do is leave a toxic situation… on a brighter note, tell us about the penny farthing! Okay so, penny farthing sounds a little random to most people but it’s allowed me to challenge myself in life in a way that I didn’t know was possible both emotionally and physically… breaking one of the oldest existing sporting world records while discovering a thing that brings joy to others. I know, you’re wondering how that comes about. Does it run in the family? I grew up in a non-sporting family. My parents didn’t watch, take part in or discuss sport so it didn’t factor in my life and I hated it at school as school sport needs you to be part of the team, if you’re no good at it you’re sidelined. So how did biking come about? In my thirties as a desperate bid to stop smoking when I became a dad, having tried many other things I took up bike racing and a switch was flicked in my head. I discovered a competitive me hiding deep in the back of my psyche that I didn’t know was there. Competition that was social, fun, healthy and I could control without the team, just me. A bike is one thing, but a penny-farthing… One day as a random change I entered a penny farthing race, as you do! This was really intended to be a one-off day of fun. I’d never ridden one, didn’t have one or know anything about them so it seemed the perfect challenge. I entered a terrifying race with some of the best riders from all over the world on a borrowed bike and came away with my soul glowing. Wow, I didn’t expect that. Did the other riders embrace you? I have no idea what it is about penny farthing riders but they are a different breed and guess what, they are all Mr Nice Guy, a world-wide family and support group. I made many lifelong friends that day and more in the 14 years since. Sounds like it was worth the risk! Plus you broke a 133-year-old record! Riding penny farthings has taken me to so many places and opened doors to so many joyous experiences that I can't believe how easily I could have not bothered with that first race and missed out what is now a huge part of my life. So why should others get involved? One of the most appealing things about riding a penny farthing, and I still don’t understand what it is about the bike that causes this, but if I go out for a ride I can guarantee that I will meet new people. I will have positive conversations that spin off in random ways with people that I would otherwise never meet. We would pass by each other with no reason to speak to each other. The penny farthing is a diffuser and engager which makes people smile. Smiling is good, right? Life without a penny farthing is unthinkable now. Do you have any other hobbies? I have lots of hobbies and genuinely I can never understand people who say that they are bored. I do rather flit from one thing to another and the house is littered with unfinished projects of one sort or another. I can definitely relate to that! I guess a common theme with hobbies is tinkering. I have a garage full of tools which I’m always adding to [although running out of space fast!] I like making, mending, pulling things to bits and generally learning how things work. Do you enjoy learning new skills? Learning new stuff is cool and I so wish that we had YouTube when I was younger. What a fantastic and inspiring resource that is. I’ve learned so much from It. What’s your latest hobby? A recent hobby is drumming in a Bateria Samba drumming Brazilian style with a local group. Totally new to me, very life affirming, great fun and making new friends through it. If you don’t know what Bateria Samba is then just check it out on YouTube. See, no time in life for being bored! Have you always lived in Derbyshire? What is it like living here? I have lived most of my life in Derbyshire. My family moved here when I was five. I spent four years away in further education and then moved straight back. At that time the draw to come back I guess was family and friends, not that fact that it's Derbyshire. To be honest I rather neglected Derbyshire, but over the years since I have grown to love it. The world is full of beautiful places to live and Derbyshire has its cons as well as pros but we are lucky to live in first world conditions with first world problems. Beautiful changing scenery, weather with seasons and wildlife. Derbyshire has so many beautiful places to explore… I am constantly a little embarrassed about how much of Derbyshire I still have to discover despite spending so much time out on bikes riding around the back lanes and tracks. Going away on adventures is always nice but coming home is just as sweet. There’s no place like home… I am hugely lucky to live in a small cottage with a sunny aspect and a view. The sweeping vista south west takes in the Derwent river in the valley, rolling agricultural hills with farms, railway line embankment slicing through the middle it, woods and stands of trees. It’s a fairly average Derbyshire view but I can happily spend hours sitting outside with a cup of tea watching the transitions happening in front of me, some slow, some fast. It's home and I feel part of it having been here so long. I love travelling. By that I mean moving through landscapes as opposed to going to a destination, but I always feel a little uncomfortable when I move away from the solid dark gritstone walls that have been the boundaries in life all around me for as long as I can remember. What kind of father are you? Maybe you should be asking my family this not me! I have a lovely daughter who I always enjoy spending time with. I was lucky enough to be able to quit work and look after her at home when she was born until she was old enough to go to school and we had lots of fun together. What have you passed on to her? I’d like to think that I have always tried to encourage my daughter to pursue the life that she wants and given her the opportunities to try things and not be afraid to be her own person. Did you have the same message as a child? I have to say that as a kid I felt rather restricted in life outlook, I’m sure my parents loved me but I felt stifled and unable to break out in new directions. I wouldn’t want my daughter to look back on life when she is older and wish about missed opportunities, which I do. Do you think it’s a generational thing? I guess it's natural that one generation is moulded by the previous and follows similar traits in all sorts of ways, jobs, religion, diet, hobbies but I guess this becomes less and less true with modern communications, internet, social media etc. All of the ideas and possibilities in life are at our fingertips. My daughter has at times struggled with a very tough career choice and I have made it very clear to her that she has nothing to prove to me or anyone else. I am already immensely proud of her work ethic, principles and support of friends and family. I think it can be scary to change direction in life… At any point it is okay to change life trajectory and start in a new direction as long as she is happy with her life. Has your recent accident given you a new outlook? Breaking a hip is not fun I have to say and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I’m a very active person and also struggle with a condition commonly known as ‘Restless leg Syndrome’ meaning that at times, particularly in the evening and at night I just can't keep my legs still and have to move about and do things, even at 4am when I really want to sleep. Having a broken hip does not work well as a partner to Restless leg Syndrome so I have been finding that really tough. I can’t imagine you having to slow down… There are always silver linings in black situations. After the initial pain and hospital treatment, when I got home and figured out that I wasn’t going anywhere for sometime, I started doing lots of little jobs that never get done in normal everyday rushing around life. Sounds like a new outlook… A bit of time to sit and drink a cup of tea slowly and watch the grass growing is something I wouldn’t normally make enough time for but I’m getting really good at it! Probably the biggest silver lining is that despite trying to retire and spend more time at home with family I’m hopeless at saying no to people so work was constantly nagging me. The accident has really enforced retirement and I no longer have to worry about upsetting people by saying ‘no’, as it's not me, it’s the situation saying that. How was your stay in hospital? Spending time in hospital in a ward of old people with similar injuries is sobering (at the time of writing I’m not old, I’m a youthful 60) and a reminder that time waits for no one and we must, as the Prince Buster song lyric says, “enjoy yourself, its later than you think.” Film: Wall-E Song: Back in Black- AC/DC Stage Show: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time TV series: Shed and Buried Book: The Secret Island by Enid Blyton Word: Marmalade
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