![]() ‘I’m no longer afraid of storms, because I’m learning how to steer my ship.’ Hello! Melissa here… hacking into this blog to interview the creator herself… ELLIE! Thank you so much to the woman herself for letting me do this! It is a privilege to be able to speak to Ellie and learn more about her, from her upbringing in the theatre (literally!) to writing, her inspirations, and why she has created a beautiful online trend of note leaving. Ellie has always been one of my most inspirational friends, for so many reasons - her kindness, positive vibe, warmth, sheer talent (I cannot wait to read her book one day, I am patiently waiting!) and so much more - but this year she truly has shown to be one of the strongest people I know. Through difficult times and tough periods in life, she has risen and grown to be even stronger. An inspiration to many, and I am so proud! Fun fact, I can still remember asking her on the first day of our MA ‘Ach what type of bloggin’ d’ye do?’ and she had to ask me to repeat myself with a polite, ‘Pardon?’ Hahahaha! Luckily she is well used to the accent now! And I am so happy to be writing this with her. Let’s dive in… Nice and easy first. How would you describe yourself? Messy. Literally and metaphorically! I have a ‘messy brain’, which can be both a burden and a blessing- and I’m a messy person. I’m always writing, reading, and making things so the rooms I’ve been in are always a mess. I would call it organised chaos- but I suspect people I’ve lived with would disagree! The irony is that I would prefer a calm mind and a tidy space- ain’t that the way! I feel things very deeply. Again- a burden and blessing. I can find joy in the small things, but equally I can be hurt by them too. I cannot stand injustice. It eats away at me. However, I don’t like to hold a grudge. If we can talk things through and then move on, I’m happy. I always strive to be kind and to treat everyone with care and love. I want people to be happy, and if they’re not, I like to try and help in whatever way I can. I don’t judge anyone, and I believe in second chances. Anybody wanting to better themselves should be loved and respected for that, not for their past. I have anxiety and depression- it’s an ongoing battle. But I don’t want it to define me as a person- but I acknowledge that it is a part of me. I’m still learning to choose my battles… when to push myself and when to protect myself. I’m a bit of a contradiction because of it. I have wanderlust and a desire for comfort zones in equal measures! I realise I’m unusual. I don’t really fit ‘in’ to ‘usual’ social circles. I find that very difficult… that’s why I love the ones closest to me so fiercely. Creativity is my safety and my constant. I can’t just sit and watch something [unless it’s in a cinema or theatre.] I always have to be writing, reading, or making something. How would others describe you? Ever since I started asking that question to others I’ve wondered how I would answer it…it’s difficult. I guess it’s pay-back time in that respect! Absolutely! I’d like to think people thought I was kind and creative… but I think, honestly, people probably see me as somebody a bit odd. I suspect I’m the butt of many jokes and sneers- I’ve been looked down on a lot in my life. I think I would much rather be ‘odd; than like everybody else. You are unique! And so open, loving and kind. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and when I’m feeling any extreme emotion I find it hard to mask- and it can come out wrong or messy [there’s that word again!]. It’s something I’m always working on. What do you find helps you navigate these ‘messier’ emotions and feelings? Music is my constant. I was raised on good music- obviously musicals, but also The Rat Pack, Buddy Holly, Elvis, Queen, Kate Bush, The Carpenters… I had parents with good taste! Definitely! I can relate with some of these choices. I love how you know so much about the musicians you listen to. You also are my go to for all things Beatles! My goodness, where to start with The Beatles… they shaped so much of my life. I obviously knew of The Beatles and knew some of their songs. I was into The Monkees in my tweens, so I was always into music my friends weren’t necessarily into. My parents used to play the ‘One’ album in the car… I stayed up late one night when I was about 13/14 and watched A Hard Day’s Night and from that day, I just became immersed in every part of them. They fascinated me. They were so naturally funny… just watch the opening train scene, they are so sure of themselves, despite the hysteria around them there is almost a side glance to the camera ‘we know this is phoney, but stick with us.’ I immersed myself in their lives. Me being me, I got every book I could find, every documentary, every song… they became a bit of a lifestyle! But I was only doing what other people were doing with boy bands… mine were just a tad older! I bet you loved living in Liverpool as well, as you spent so long in their hometown! I went to Liverpool and did the whole tourist thing- the Magical Mystery Tour, The Cavern etc.. but I returned again and again and fell more in love with the city itself. I also loved that there was usually an inspiration within the songs- and yet people could make their own mind up what the lyrics meant. That definitely had a huge impact on my writing. It’s amazing how inspiring music can be for us as writers. I always feel so much creative energy from live music too. I’ve been lucky enough to see Paul McCartney twice in concert- alongside other incredible gigs such as Oasis, Bob Dylan, Elton John, Paul Weller… isn’t it incredible how music and words can have such an impact and unite people? It’s such a powerful thing. The Beatles are the soundtrack to my writing. Not to say I don’t have other playlists- I like to think I have eclectic taste- but I think their words and music are always subconsciously there. You have deep roots in the musical theatre world from your own childhood. Every show we go to - you’ve either been in, seen already, or your mum and dad has! That’s so amazing! What was it like growing up in a musical family? For the most part, it was wonderful. My life revolved around the stage. My Mum and Dad met playing opposite each other in Oklahoma!, so theatre was omnipresent from day one. My Dad was actually on stage when my Mum went into labour with me! When I was born, I was diagnosed with Cutis Marmorata Telangiectatica Congenita, a very rare disorder, which the doctors knew little about. There still isn’t much information available, unfortunately. My right leg is shorter and thinner than the other and it has a purple and blue marble appearance. I call it my party piece! My Mum had a midwife who had a very poor bedside manner. She looked at my leg and declared it a wasted limb, she said ‘it would have to come off’, and that I was ‘most probably blind.’ So I got off very easily!! I can’t believe the midwife said that! I remember you showing me your ‘littler leg’ as you called it at the time. But it hasn’t held you back at all, has it? As a result of my diagnosis, the doctors advised my parents to get me to dance class as soon as they would allow… so I joined Dawn Aldred and Essential Energy when I was two years old. I loved dance but I was never a natural- I had to work hard to keep up. Dawn became a family friend and often choreographed my Mum and Dad’s shows for their theatre company, Spotlight. Singing and acting were always a more natural force for me. My Dad said I could sing before I could talk. I had voice lessons from an incredible lady named Brenda- and I had clarinet lessons for seven years, so I could read music, which is such a gift. It’s like knowing a whole other language. So many talents! What was your favourite form of performing? Acting was my real love. I loved wrapping myself up in a character. Performing was everything and was absolutely what I wanted to do forever. My whole family was involved, so we were incredibly close. Both my brothers performed. My Mum is an incredible actress and my Dad can match any West End performer with his voice... no pressure! That being said, I can honestly say I never felt jealous or competitive. I was never anything but proud. I still am. I am sure there have been many highs and lows in theatre life as well? I had some incredible times - performing at the Pomegranate, Buxton Opera House, in front of the Queen at Pride Park and even the West End a couple of times…sadly it all ended very abruptly and horribly when I was 16/17. That’s the only problem being in the ‘family business’ - it can unravel and you have to try and keep your head above water. What do you do when all of your hopes and dreams have suddenly become tarnished? I felt like part of myself had been ripped away. It wasn't just being on stage- Spotlight was my second family. I think I missed being backstage and being with them more than anything else. I struggled on through my A-Level Theatre exam, but I was on autopilot. The love had gone and it was so difficult. The stage, which had always been my home, my safe place, became a reminder of what I had lost. I was so sad in those days. Lost, angry, confused… I was in such a bad place. I was told later that I was the only student to ever get 100 percent in their practical though, so maybe I was channelling my anger in some way! You are AMAZING! I am so sorry you went through all of this. It just goes to show how strong you are to keep on fighting through and creating. The arts can really help us express ourselves sometimes. Do you think expression through theatre and writing gave you the strength to carry on through hardship? I do believe without my theatre background I would have struggled to find my own writing voice. I never thought I would become a writer, but I was always writing - usually scripts performed in my front garden with very kind and patient neighbours in attendance! My Dad wrote successful plays and musicals. Wax was a finalist in the Vivienne Ellis awards. That’s so cool! I remember seeing the videos you showed me. What is your favourite musical? I loved Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice. Jesus Christ Superstar is an absolute masterpiece. And when I was 8/9, Les Miserables was on constantly - I still know every word! I sang Castle on a Cloud at more family events and showcases than I can count… so Les Mis is still a favourite. One Day More has never been bettered as a closing first act number in my opinion. I was introduced to classics from a very young age through Spotlight - West Side Story, Guys and Dolls, Evita, Chess, Cabaret… the latter I went to every rehearsal for but I couldn’t see it on stage because I was too young! It sounds like it was definitely a great escape for you to ‘pause life!’ - a famous quote from your mum (we love Debs!)... When everything turned rough at home, I found musicals to fit my mood, like ‘Rent.’ I am so grateful that although performing became painful, I never lost the love of the stage. I do get the occasional pang, especially when I hear the orchestra warming up, but I can still become immersed in the magic, and I still consider it a huge part of my life. Since then, I have discovered the likes of Hamilton, which has probably become my favourite musical of all time (for now!). Okay, now for an even trickier question… what is your favourite book in the world? That is a bold statement! I think it is a bookworm's nightmare question - but I’ll try! I’m tempted to say Harry Potter because it’s such a comfort read. I grew up with it. I always love to tell the story of when my Y4 teacher asked what I was reading. ‘Harry what?’ she said. That wouldn’t happen anymore! Whenever I go away I always have a copy with me because, as cheesy as it sounds, it feels like home. However, at a push, and I think you guessed it… I have to go with The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. I remember you recommended The Kite Runner to me and my mum very kindly sent me it as a gift - IT RUINED ME! I felt this book so intensely. It stayed with me and I couldn’t shake it. If I could write something with even a quarter of its power, I would be ecstatic. Did you always know you wanted to write? I think so. Even when I couldn’t read or write I made up stories. I used to draw in my story books and make-up side characters and stories. We have family videos of me ‘reading’ to my baby brother, and I’m just making up my own thing! As soon as I could physically write, I was away. Stories, plays, poems… I loved it, but I didn’t know it was something I could pursue as a career… I just wrote because it felt natural to do so! So you were definitely more of a creative kid… I adored creative writing at school. That freedom to just write was a joy. It saddens me that that is often not the case anymore… the reason I loved creative writing was because there was no right or wrong as found in Science or Maths. Now students have to include a tick list of what they need to include in their creative writing… so they can write a brilliant sentence but it can still be considered ‘wrong.’ I hate that. This is so true. And it’s often at that young age that it's so important to instill this creative confidence in young people. It’s what inspired me to do an extra-curricular writing club - where kids could just write - not worried about being right or wrong. They produced stunning pieces, I was ridiculously proud of them. That’s so inspiring. You’ve done amazing, and I am sure you sparked something special in your students. What about you - what are your favourite themes to write about? Family, mistakes, overcoming… hopefully writing that people can relate to. I love people generally… so I love writing about them! The more complicated and eccentric the better! That being said, I don’t like to be pigeon-hold into one genre. I like to be excited by different styles and I always like to be inspired by something new. Who are your main influences? At the moment I am reading Christopher Isherwood- I love his style- autobiographical but enough fiction to give him the freedom to be in control of the narrative. I’m grateful to have had so many incredible tutors at LJMU… Sarah Maclennan, Andrew McMillan, Jeff Young, Cathy Cole, Horatio Clare, John Sayle… to name just a few. You’re right ! We were so lucky. And would you say you have an idol? Can I have more than one?? That’s such a difficult question! They can be alive or not, or someone you know or don’t! Names spring to mind… Lin-Manuel Miranda, Bobby Kennedy, Khaled Hosseini… I loved something Fred Rogers did. He used to do this really beautiful thing whenever he was in front of an audience. He would get everybody to close their eyes and think of people who have made their lives better, whether they have passed or not. It’s amazing the people who come to mind - so I suppose I would say everyone who comes to me in those moments. The people who have lifted and guided me… and I hope they know who they are. Overall, my Mum though. She is incredible. She has been through more than any human should… and she is still so kind, selfless, inspiring… I’m not sure I could have gone through what she has been through and come out the other side still such a beautiful human being, inside and out. Your mum is a force of nature - so inspiring and incredibly strong. With an amazing daughter! And it’s obvious this kindness runs in your family… Can you tell us more about the wonderful positivity notes series you started up? Where did it come from? My passion project! The idea wasn’t pre-planned, it just kind of grew… It first started when I was in full blown dissertation mode for my Masters… I was rooting through books in the university library. In one there were various notes left by another student - you could practically feel the stress in the way they had written the notes, illegible at times… so I just found myself scribbling a message on a post-it, something like ‘You got this’... something positive for somebody battling with deadlines to find and hopefully bring a smile! (Side-note… I love people who annotate books! Even a line which has been highlighted- you get a story within a story!). This led to me getting the idea to hide more positive notes in various places for people to find… It started out as post-it notes, but now if it's something I can write on, I will leave something positive on it! I love doing it and hearing how my notes have helped people. I have had responses that have reduced me to tears - often people seem to find them at a time they need to, which is so lovely…But I don’t like people knowing I leave them when I’m out and about! I’m not completely ‘Banksy’ about it, but I feel oddly shy! The other day I was in a beer garden we often go to and one of the workers came up to me and said, 'Excuse me, are you the lady who leaves the notes?' I was a bit cautious because for all I know he was coming to have a go at me for leaving them on the tables! So I said, 'Maybe.' He kind of teared up and said, 'I just wanted to say thank you. The other week I lost everything - my house, my family, everything. Just knowing somebody still cared. It meant such a lot.' Oh wow, that’s got me feeling emotional! An amazing moment - I thanked him over and over for opening up. It's moments like that that keep me making and leaving them. I love them. I think it’s beautiful when people reach out to you after finding them too. I still keep the one you left in my apartment, safely in my purse! The quotes can help so much. We just never know what anyone is going through. What’s the best quote you’ve ever heard? If you can choose! Ahh, again so many… I like that old one- ‘I’m no longer afraid of storms, because I’m learning how to steer my ship.’ I think I use ‘Be Kind’ the most though. A simple but powerful message. Film: Back to the Future Song: In My Life- The Beatles Tv Series: Brideshead Revisited Book: The Kite Runner- Khaled Hosseini Stage show: Hamilton Word: Kind
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![]() Lewis Carty 30 'Yes, I know it's not been an easy road to travel down. There have been many obstacles that I have faced as well, and issues with certain people that I had with in the past, but I have learnt along the way...' Lewis is an exceptional man. I first met him when I was a teaching assistant and he a student at a secondary school. Writing that makes me feel very old, although for my own vanities sake, I was straight out of A-Levels myself! It has been such a privilege to have been even a small part of Lewis's journey, and to have kept in touch with him all these years. He is passionate about telling his story, and I was thrilled when he got in touch saying he wanted me to interview him. I hope you enjoy! How would you describe yourself? Well, how I describe myself, well, I often think that I am usually a very happy and cheerful chap, and sometimes quite funny and comical as well with some things. I often go through phases when something negative happens, like a couple of things happened this year that were pretty negative, but I have been finding ways to push through and keep being the better person that I am now. How would others describe you? There are many people who think of me as one of the kindest and most helpful people to anyone who ever needed it, and sometimes quite a happy and cheerful chap. Even though I know some people don't see me like that, but I am not here to talk about them, because I don't want this to be a negative thing. What is your job? I work 39 hours a week as a Waste Disposal Technical Operative in a Sandpaper Foam Block Factory. I have worked there for over seven years this year, and have been in two careers up to this point since leaving school at 17. I am happy to be somewhere I feel like I belong. What’s one of the most important things in the world to you? I am a huge music fan and I listen to a lot of different things. I can't live without it, and also being an Autistic person as well, I let music help me to get through certain things too. Being Autistic doesn't deprive me from what I have to do. Have you had any difficulties growing up with autism? The hardest things about being Autistic came mainly from when I was younger, when I was not fitting in with many other people at the time. Some people thought of me as a threat and said they didn't like me, when I hadn't done anything to them. It pushed me away. I felt exiled from those people and I hated the fact that I was addressed as a special needs child at school and all that. I am happy now that being an adult, I feel that I have broken away from that bubble of being addressed as a special needs person, and happy to continue to do things and get on with what I do now. How about the positives? Autism doesn't deprive me from what I do for my work, or going out with my friends or family. I am also a lot happier to open up about things than I used to be, and also I often help other parents with special needs children themselves. I volunteer with my local Scout Group. I think those are the best things about being Autistic. How was school life for you? Well, I want to try and talk about this without being so nasty, and I don't want to mention anyone's names. I had an amazing time at school with many people, but it was more towards the end of my final year, that I wasn't happy with a lot of things and I was becoming disillusioned with being with the others [students] everyday. It started to bother me hugely that I was getting trouble from some of the teachers there, and some of them started saying that, 'I wouldn't last five minutes in a job' and 'The employers would be too scared to employ me' and all that sort of stuff, and that really riled me, you know, it riled me a lot, and I just felt that I really wanted to go. That’s an awful thing for someone to say to you… When I left, I found sanctuary in what I wanted to do, and I feel happier with what I am doing now. I must say that there hasn't been a falling out or any animosity between me and the others [students] I have been with, and I am happy with what they are doing. think it was nice to be apart for a while and we did meet each other a couple of times, but I don't think we want to meet all the time. You often say you have succeeded at life ‘despite being autistic.’ Can you explain what you mean by that? Well, how I have succeeded at life, despite being Autistic is somewhat complicated. I personally think it’s because I have been in a working life since I was 17. It took me seven years to get a permanent role in the job I am doing now, and I have had two careers . In my view, it's a massive achievement to me. Also working voluntarily as a Beaver Scout Leader…it's fantastic to help the children and also know the other locals in my home village by doing that as well, it's fantastic. You didn’t let anyone hold you back.. Despite the comments that I was told when I was leaving school, I knew that they were all wrong, because I am happy to be where I am now. Yes, I know it's not been an easy road to travel down. There have been many obstacles that I have faced as well, and issues with certain people that I had with in the past, but I have learnt along the way. Were you inspired by anyone? I recently found out that former pop singer Daniel Bedingfield has been diagnosed with Autism and that shocked me as I was listening to an interview with him recently…when he mentioned that, I couldn't believe what I heard. It made me wonder why I connected to his song, 'Never Gonna Leave Your Side' so much when I was a kid. I have re-listened to the song lately after hearing that interview, and it clicked with me a lot. I don't claim to be like other autistic people, however, because I know they have their own ways of dealing with it and have done better with it, and I want to do the same with my own success, and help others with it as well and help others to understand it better. What ways can we try and understand autism better? Autism Awareness is a lot better than when I was a kid, but it's still got a long way to go. I am happy to have seen many TV Shows relating to Autistic people, especially in a fictional context like The A Word and After Thomas, which are worth watching. I have watched those Chris Packham Autism Documentaries, especially the Inside Autistic Minds documentary, where four Autistic individuals have made their own little Autism short films and that was brilliant. I enjoyed those. I know music is a huge passion of yours… I was introduced to Elvis Presley, The Beatles, Michael Jackson and Buddy Holly and all that from the age of four or five, and I used to play them constantly as a kid. My Dad was a rock fan, he played Meat Loaf, Mike And The Mechanics and all that stuff, and my Mum was into 80s music and country music such as Bellamy Brothers, Culture Club and all that Who were your early influences? My first favourite band as a kid, as most others were, was Busted, and they still are to this day. I listened to Westlife, Robbie Williams and those pop artists at the time at Primary School. Enrique Iglesias was another favourite artist of mine, at that time. How about when you got a bit older? I went to secondary school and discovered Green Day, Kaiser Chiefs, Oasis, Kings Of Leon, Foo Fighters, Nickelback, Stereophonics, Take That and all the big bands at the time. I got into Bon Jovi as well. When I left school and became a young adult, I started listening to heavier rock and metal music such as Disturbed, Guns N Roses and Metallica and all that as well, and I could list a lot of different artists from that genre of music, and now I listen to a lot of different things too. It's nice to have a good mix of music, especially with female artists I listen to, such as First Aid Kit, Birdy, The Last Dinner Party, Ward Thomas, Catherine McGrath. Birdy's music has helped me with a lot of things that happened this year. I could list many of my favourite artists, but it could take me all day. What would be your dream festival line-up? Well, on Friday Night, my headliner would be Nickelback, supported by Kings Of Leon, Halestorm, Green Day and Hoobastank. Saturday Night Headliner would be First Aid Kit, supported by Birdy, The Staves, Kodaline and Niall Horan. Sunday Night Headliner would be Foo Fighters, supported by Stereophonics, Busted, Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds and The Big Moon. That would be the Dream Festival Line Up. How about your ideal weekend? Well, my ideal weekend would be a night out with some friends at a music concert or live show somewhere on a Saturday night and I could name many artists that me and my friends would like to see, and I could list as many artists I love to see live, but I would love to see Birdy live with some friends, I really would. What is your favourite season? I am a Summer person. I just love to be out in the summer. I am a very active person, so I love a bit of outdoor exercise, with running and walking, etc, and I also do like to be out and have a drink with some friends as well, so I love the summer the most. Do you enjoy reading? Yeah, I do love a bit of reading, but I like to read mostly horror, but I love drama based stories as well. My favourite authors are James Herbert, Shaun Hutson, Richard Laymon and most famously Stephen King, but I have read many Charles Dickens, Thomas Hardy and all those kinds of books in my time.I also have read The Wind In The Willows a lot more than any other novel. I read all the Harry Potter books when I was growing up too. How about TV and films? Well, I love mostly drama, and I am a massive Doctor Who fan, as well, but I love most horror films too, including a film called Cabin Fever which features an actress I love called Cerina Vincent, who used to play a girl called Maya, in a TV Series called Power Rangers: Lost Galaxy that I used to love as a kid and I think you can still love that show as an adult. You're braver than me- I can't watch any kind of horror! I love The Expendables film series too, with Jason Statham, who is one of my favourite actors and I love Carrie, the original with Sissy Spacek in the main role, but I like the Chloe Grace Moretz version too, but not as much as the original. I also love Stig Of The Dump. I am loving Blackadder again as I just bought the DVD Box set today and want to re-watch it properly. I also love Emmerdale and Coronation Street too, but I don't like to talk about them a lot, but living where I live feels a bit like Emmerdale sometimes... I know you are an excellent runner… Yeah. I have been into running since I was 23, and I have been out running to keep myself physically fit, and also it has helped me not feel so distressed with anything. I also have been to the Gym for a while as well, that has also helped to get me physically fit and strong too, it's made me feel like I can get stronger and stronger. I do a bit of boxing in the Gym as well, that's something that has really helped me as well, because as I said earlier of getting distressed as an Autistic person, having some exercise has really helped me as much as listening to music has as well. But I don’t intend to use my boxing skills to be violent to anyone. What advice would you give to anybody who is struggling? My advice would be for anyone who is Autistic or has an Autistic Child, or anyone who suffers from any mental health issues, is to know that we are not alone in this world. I lost one of my best friends in 2018, and that drove me towards my worst point. My friend and her family helped me to open up. In return, I have helped her and her two children after she split up from her ex-husband, especially her daughter who suffers from similar things to me. Are people as understanding towards you? I still get some people who collar me and say some really nasty and unfair things. I admit that I have done the same to some people in the past,, but that was because of how much they provoked me, but I also think that there is a lot of help out there... How do you spread awareness? I have done some charity work with my running in the past for Mind and the National Autistic Society, who are great charities. I also want to give out as much advice as possible, because I normally try to avoid any hateful and discriminatory people against Autistic beings and I see a lot of that online and stuff. There are Autistic communities I follow closely, especially from a guy called Paul Micallef who runs Autism From The Inside on YouTube. He is from Australia and I watch his videos every week, mostly at weekends due to my work and everything, and he is a very interesting guy. I do recommend him. Also, in my view, don't always take advice from some experts, because a lot of them don't know what they are doing. I think that it's not necessary to be addressed with having special needs or a mental health issue. I never liked to be addressed like that. I am happy to be where I am now, and I am happy to help others in need too. Book: Slugs by Shaun Hutson Film: Carrie TV Series: Doctor Who Song: Keeping Your Head Up by Birdy Theatre Show: The War Of The Worlds Word: Unprecedented ![]() Lydia Redfern 35 'Our new life became our new normal. And now when I look back at that time, I cherish it.' Lydia is a beautiful, strong, whirlwind of a lady. She is also one of the most positive people you could meet, despite the hardships she has been through. We met at my parents theatre company, and I always knew we were in for a fun time when she was there. Whenever I have reached out with my mental health issues, she is one of the first to offer friendship and empathy without judgement. I consider every interview I have done to be special in some way… but this truly is a story of overcoming and it has been an absolute honour to interview Lydia. I hope you find Lydia and her family as inspiring as I have. How would you describe yourself? Chatty, sensitive, caring, determined and easily overwhelmed. How would others describe you? I asked my mum this question and she said, loving, generous, happy, jokey, cheeky, kind and she also said a pain in the neck! Haha! My Dad said considerate and empathetic. Where is your happy place? I absolutely love going to Brighton. I grew up in a village in Sussex up until the age of 9. And I feel that Brighton is such a happy place. I also feel happy at our home in Two Dales. The road is busy where we live but I love the sound of the cars. I find it comforting to know that people are nearby. You recently got diagnosed with autism. What was your response? I wasn’t that surprised about the autism diagnosis, because of the long waiting lists, I had time to process it in my head. I felt relief and happiness because I can finally understand my brain. But I also felt a lot of sadness for the younger me, who at times has struggled so much internally with anxiety and feelings of inadequacy. We met in my parents' theatre company… do you still enjoy theatre? I do enjoy the theatre but I’ve discovered recently that re the autism, going to the theatre is quite a sensory overload for me. Thank goodness for the invention of loops haha. I don’t act myself any more. My Australian accent- wasted! I loved your Aussie accent! Thank you! Tell us about meeting Joe… We were at secondary school together, in the same science group! But I didn’t really know Joe at school. When we were 18 I went out with my friend who’s boyfriend at the time played football with Joe and it was a football night out. A random Sunday just before Christmas. I remembered Joe from school and we got chatting. I should also mention that on this night out Joe got fined for weeing in the street! I obviously knew then he was husband material! We exchanged numbers and then a couple of days later went on our first date to the cinema to watch Casino Royale! Before going in I didn't realise it was a James Bond film. The rest, as they say, is history. The wedding sounded fabulous! Joe loves Laurel and Hardy so much. He used to watch it with his Dad when he was younger. Any time he’s watching it, he’s crying with laughter. At our wedding we had a Laurel and Hardy theme- (my way of making it Joe’s day too, because let’s face it, it is all about the bride isn’t it!)? Joe had a bowler hat and our wedding cake was in the shape of a bowler hat! Is that how your eldest got his name? I remember on our honeymoon (I was 12 weeks pregnant when we got married) Joe suggested the name Stan for our baby if it was a boy. I was like no way! That’s an old man's name, you can’t have a baby Stan! But then I kept calling my bump Stan and when we found out it was a boy, he was Stanley! I love that name! And then you had little Reggie- their names just fit! Not long after, life took an extreme change. Are you happy to talk about what happened on your holiday in Greece? Yeah, of course… Can you take us through the day? We were on holiday in Greece, Corfu, with our good friends Gary and Steven. Gary and Steven went home that morning and we had an extra couple of days. Stan and Reggie were 2.5 years and four months old at the time. Because it was raining we decided to hire a car that day and we had a lovely day driving up the mountains. So when were the first signs that something wasn’t right? When we returned to the hotel, we were getting ready to go for dinner and suddenly Joe's arm went floppy and he couldn’t make a sound. What were your initial thoughts? I think I knew instantly he was having a stroke but at the same time didn’t believe it, strokes only happen to old people right?! What did you do? I immediately screamed for help as loud as I could and then other hotel guests and staff filled our room. Joe was taken off and I stayed and went down to the restaurant to get the boys some food. You must have been beside yourself… I was in disbelief. I thought, it will be okay, probably just a funny turn…But I think I knew deep down our lives as we knew it had changed forever. When was your first update on Joe? The hospital Joe had been taken to phoned the hotel and I was to go to him immediately. I had to make a very quick decision about leaving my very young children with strangers I had just met. Luckily Kelly and Pam, a mother and daughter, were on their holiday, just arriving that day. with Kelly’s young daughter Bella. Kelly said she would stay with the children and Pam came to the hospital with me. Wow, the kindness of strangers… To this day I am so thankful for what they did, I can never truly express that in words. I was so frightened and alone but they made it slightly better for us. Are you still in touch with them? Yes. They live near my auntie, so we have been able to meet up with them a couple of times- and I have them on Facebook, so we can keep in touch that way too. Holiday friends with a difference! Even with their kindness, it must have been terrifying… When I think of it all now, it feels like it happened to someone else, not us. What was it like in the hospital? It was really scary to begin with. No one spoke English and I had no idea what was going on. I was worried about our children because Joe got transferred to mainland Greece so I was there with him but the children were still in Corfu with Kelly and Pam. You must have felt so alone… The next day my Dad and Joe's Mum flew out to the children and then joined us at the hospital and I can’t tell you how lovely it was to be able to hug them. Did they diagnose Joe quickly? For the first day because of the language barrier and because I knew nothing about strokes, I was telling everyone that Joe had had a chemical stroke when it was in fact an ischemic stroke! What was the hospital like? The hospital was crazy, there was no such thing as health care assistants. So someone had to be with Joe at all times and I had to give him all of his medication and food. He was being tube fed at this point. There were stray dogs outside the hospital and birds flying in the windows! The funniest thing at the hospital was when they sent in a psychiatrist that didn’t speak a word of English! How did you function with so much uncertainty? We’d watch Fawlty Towers and The Royle Family together on my phone because I said we could only watch funny things. I think I knew then, that somehow we’d be okay. Even without speech Joe managed to joke that I was just like Denise! How long was Joe in hospital for? Joe was in hospital in Greece for 3 weeks, 3 weeks without our children because my dad and Joe's mum took them home. But my mum flew out to be with us in the hospital, because Joe needed someone to be with him at all times. What was it like coming back to England? I prepared Joe that he might be in Calow [a hospital in Derbyshire] for a few months while he was recovering…. I remember the first day I went to see him in Calow after we’d got back from Greece. I was like where is he?! And he’d gone in the shower by himself! So because of his determination he was home in a week! That’s astounding! How was life at home? When he first came home it was really difficult, I think because you sort of assume if someone comes home they are better, and he was so different from the Joe that had gone on holiday to Greece. He spent a lot of time sleeping in the beginning, so he and Reggie had lots of naps together, whilst Me and Stan had lots of play centre and cake dates. How was Joe handling it? The amazing thing about Joe was that he was so independent from the start. It wasn’t long before he was changing Reggie's nappy with one hand, Joe’s determination has always astounded me! How did you adapt to your new life? I know it sounds like a cliché, but gradually our new life became our new normal. And now when I look back at that time, I cherish it. We had so much time, just us four, whether we were having a pajama day and movie night or an afternoon in the park. We just really tried to make the best of what we had. You carried on… We had to really, because we had two little boys whose lives weren’t going to stop because their daddy had had a stroke. And they really did keep us going. It certainly wasn’t always easy but somehow we managed to get through. When we started raising money and awareness that really helped me. Because I felt I could make something good from what had happened. How did you communicate? About a year and a half later we both decided to learn sign language so that Joe had a way of communicating with the boys. Joe found it quite tricky because of his right hand that had been affected by the stroke. But I absolutely loved it and carried on learning to level 3. I’ve recently learned Makaton too. I use this with children I work with and family friends with communication difficulties. My eldest niece loved it when you taught some sign language at her primary school. I think it’s amazing that you are passing on such an important skill… I think the most important thing I’ve learned is that just because someone can’t speak, doesn’t mean that they don’t have anything to say. There are so many more ways to communicate than the spoken word. How did you feel having a third child after such a huge life shift? Being pregnant with Daphne I found incredibly difficult. Before becoming pregnant with her, I’d had an ectopic pregnancy. It was the most alone I’d ever felt. It was in January 2021 so Covid restrictions were very much in place. All the hospital appointments I had to go to alone, and it was such a difficult time in my life. You had already been through so much… After that, me and Stan started the couch to 5k. Again, me trying to make something good from a bad situation. But it was good, I absolutely loved running with Stan and chatting to him as we ran. In this time I got really fit and I was eating well. Then when I became pregnant with Daphne I felt so sick, I couldn’t exercise and I just felt so down the whole time… I then felt guilty, as I knew the pain of losing a baby. You must have been having so many emotions swimming around… I worried so much about how we would cope with another baby as we were living in a two bedroom house at the time. Joe was having speech therapy over video call at the time and when we’d settled on the name Daphne for her (because of my love of Some Like it Hot) that was Joe's goal word to practise. He practised and practised and he could say her name. That was a special moment. How about when Daphne was born? When she was born all those worries I had didn’t seem to matter anymore. She’s a very strong willed and defiant little girl who tests our patience daily. But we all love her so much. Stan and Reggie are the best big brothers. We managed to move to a bigger house in Two Dales and we absolutely love living there. You and your gorgeous family have been through so much, but you all radiate love, fun, and determination. How do you stay positive? I try to see the good in a situation, even in tough situations after the initial stress/panic ,I try to think why might this have happened and what good can come from it? After Joe's stroke, I felt so angry that it had happened to him and like we had been robbed of so much. Whilst that was true, especially because Joe's speech is still incredibly difficult for him, I also think we have gained a lot. How has writing helped you? I really enjoy writing about things I’m passionate about. Trying to convey them in a way that makes people really hear what I have to say. I enjoyed writing my blog about the marathon and Joe's recovery because I found it so therapeutic to write down how I was feeling and also hoping to raise awareness at the same time. I think I will find it helpful to write about my autism and possible ADHD diagnosis too because it helps me process it and understand it. What have you learned about life? We have learned to just really enjoy living in the present, in our little family bubble. And on a personal level I’ve learned so much about myself, just how determined I am. If you would have told 2016 Lydia that she would train for, and run, the London marathon whilst still breastfeeding a baby, I never would have believed you!! FILM: Some Like it Hot SONG: Vienna- Billy Joel STAGE SHOW: Sweeney Todd TV SERIES: Columbo BOOK: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time- Mark Haddon WORD: Pavlova ![]() Ellie Tomlinson- Wilde 42 'I cannot live without music. It is the one thing in my life that can help me see happiness in the saddest times, and there’s always a song or lyric for the right moment that helps me when I need it...' Ellie is a beautiful soul. I met her in Liverpool outside the LIPA building, where a certain Mr McCartney was giving a music lesson… I ventured alone to LIPA after getting a tip off that Paul was in attendance that day. Although I had made plenty of good friends in Liverpool, I chose to go alone because it felt like a personal experience- and, to be honest, part of me felt silly… but The Beatles were such a huge part of my life, I couldn’t not go. Thank goodness, because Paul McCartney was not the only legend I was going to meet that day! A friendly, bubbly, gorgeous girl approached me, 'Love your bag! Are you waiting for Paul?' I spent the rest of the day with Ellie, which led to countless nights in The Cavern, Jacaranda and someone to Beatle fan girl with…[plus an incredible London trip to see Harry Potter and the Cursed Child… we like to mix it up sometimes] It has been a pleasure to interview this gorgeous lady- enjoy! How would you describe yourself? I’m the most introverted extrovert you’re likely to meet. I love people, I enjoy hearing about other people's experiences and lives and I love the sense of community when there’s a shared interest. I get socially exhausted really easily though, and can get pretty anxious in some outside situations. I’m learning to cope with that part of my negative inner dialogue at the moment! I think I'm an obsessive all-or-nothing person, and when I love it’s with my whole being. This goes for relationships, friendships, hobbies and interests. This can be a blessing and a curse as I definitely wear my heart on my sleeve and people have taken advantage of that in the past. I like to see it as a positive though, as it has led me to where I am today with my lovely family. I cannot live without music. It is the one thing in my life that can help me see happiness in the saddest times, and there’s always a song or lyric for the right moment that helps me when I need it. I’m currently learning more about who I am after a late diagnosis of ADHD! I’ve always felt like a bit of an outsider and never fit in, and it’s all making sense now! How would others describe you? I hope other people would describe me as having my heart in the right place. I am told I'm a good listener as I can listen without judgement of the situation, and am told I'm open and empathetic. I reckon my friends think I'm organised and in control - I'm the “Mum” of the group, making sure everyone is okay, has had food and has got home okay when we’ve had a night out. Overall a Beatles loving, vintage obsessive member of society! How was it being diagnosed with ADHD later in life? That diagnosis has meant the world to me. I have been misdiagnosed with anxiety, depression etc throughout my life so to finally get to the root cause of who I am and why I react to things so strongly is pure validation. How did others react to the news? I feel like people actually believe my struggles now, and the support I've had from family and friends has meant the world to me. I’m understanding more about my brain, the way I think and how I now fit into society. That all comes with a sadness too. If I had known about my ADHD sooner I probably would’ve found coping techniques sooner, which probably would’ve led to me continuing further education. So growing up was a challenge? I struggled a lot at school in terms of fitting in and feeling like an outsider, and as is my wont I decided to run away from that situation, as I couldn’t cope with that feeling. Life is too short to have regrets, but now that I have my diagnosis I'm going to stop putting obstacles in my own way and live life to the full! Okay, you knew it was coming… Let's talk about that little known band from Liverpool… The Beatles! With a name like Eleanor it’s pretty hard to avoid that band isn’t it? I can’t count how many times I’ve been asked if that’s how I got my name! Even though I’m an ‘Elinor’... I remember as a small child listening to Band On The Run as my Dad had it from the 70s, and my Mum had a fair few Beatles albums. The ones I remember hearing most though were the Red and Blue albums, and I used to pore over those sleeves as they were so arty! Those times my folks played music in our old living room in Grange Road North are some of my most vivid, happiest memories as a kid and I loved dancing and singing along to the records. My Mum played Eleanor Rigby to me as a very young child, but I remembered being more impressed by Norwegian Wood! 1989 Help! was released on video and my Dad bought my Mum a copy. She was SO happy and watched it over and over. My eldest Sister then began to obsess over it, so much so the tape went black and white in sections. But when did you go from casual fan to an Apple Scruff? That band has impacted my life from an early age, and I could go on and on about how they’ve influenced me personally. I met my husband at International Beatleweek 25 years ago as he was in a Paul McCartney tribute band (not Macca!) and my life could’ve taken a totally different route. You’ve met Paul McCartney a few times… The first time I met Paul I couldn’t speak. It was May 2000 at LIPA and he was giving a class to the music degree students. I happened to be in the city with my friend and we were given the tip off to go and try and meet him. We waited around for a couple of hours and he walked out of the door towards his car. I was rooted to the spot, and if it hadn't been for my friend pushing me in his direction I would’ve missed my opportunity of meeting my idol. I asked for his autograph and he said yes, and I didn’t have a pen! He had to open his jacket and get a blue ink pen from it (his pocket was like a stationery shop!) and once he’d signed he gave me the pen which I still have! Did you keep your composure? I held it together while he was there, and as soon as he’d driven off and we had waved goodbye I was a blubbering wreck! I had just turned 18 and had met Paul McCartney! The year before I'd been lucky to go to the Run Devil Run listening party in London, the premiere of Working Classical in Liverpool and the Parkinson interview in the studio but this was actually meeting him! Each time has been ultra special. Fast forward to 2015 and I met you in the same spot! What made you come over and say hello? You looked friendly and approachable, and had the guts to rock up to see a Beatle on your own. To have that enthusiasm and excitement about seeing Paul is something I recognised about myself, and as I said earlier I love sharing the excitement with people who have that love in common. I’m so glad I said hello that day as it had led to this lovely friendship! Meeting people in random ways is always a good start to a friendship I find! I’m so happy you did too! And a love of The Beatles also means a love of Liverpool… My Dad used to take my sisters and I on day trips. When we asked where we were going he would say “there and back to see how far it is!” and we’d have adventures together. I remember being REALLY young before the Albert Dock was renovated, and we wandered around the docks to the river, walked around the City and just felt excited to be in such an amazing atmosphere. What made you keep returning? I used to sneak to the City when I was a teenager as it was my happy place. Yes the Beatles kick started my love for the City, but it runs deeper than that. The Scousers are hard to resist! The North West as a whole feels like a separate entity to the rest of the Country, and the morals and working class honesty is an integral part of who Scousers are. You are accepted for who you are, you can walk into a pub and talk to a total stranger and the people have their own style and identity. And now it’s your home again! I spent most of my adult life living in Liverpool, and with a move for 8 years down to Watford I'm now back on Merseyside with my husband in tow. Gee it’s good to be back home! You are now a step-mum too! How are you finding it? Being a Step Mum is such a tricky thing to navigate, and I am so conscious of trying to be a responsible adult while not feeling like a “grown up” at all. I loved my stepson as soon as I met him, and I'm so lucky to have him in my life. My husband's older kids are more like friends as I haven’t been involved in their upbringing, but it’s mind blowing to me that this kind, brilliant, clever, funny young man has developed from the kind, brilliant, clever funny child I met all those years ago. He’s got such amazing, supportive parents so I'm in the privileged position of just being another adult he can chat to and lean on when he needs anything. I still worry about being the grown up though! How did that happen? What’s the best thing anyone has ever said to you? As cheesy as it sounds when my husband said he loved me for the first time. I knew I'd found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and it was glorious to know he felt the same way. And the worst? The one that I'll never forget is as a 13 year old my school PE teacher saying I would be a good dancer if I wasn’t so fat. That crushed me. Dancing was my life at the time, and those words have never really left me. That’s dreadful! I’ve struggled with my weight since that moment really, and for a long time my self worth was attached to how fat or thin I was. I wish I could go back to my 13 year old self and tell them to ignore that sad woman and believe in myself. Do you have any recurring dreams? I don’t have recurring dreams anymore, I'm a light sleeper and I do wonder if I get into REM at any point. When I do dream it’s always vivid and colourful, and ridiculously realistic. When they’re happy dreams it’s lovely, but when it’s a nightmare it can be pretty grueling. I know you are a fan of the TV series The Traitors. Would you be a Faithful or a Traitor? I would be a Faithful. I cannot lie to save my life, and I wouldn’t enjoy the stress of being a Traitor at all. I think I would break down in tears every time I felt like I had betrayed someone I'd built a friendship with. I’m also good at reading a room (thanks ADHD!) so I think I'd be good at identifying micro mannerisms that would give the traitors away. Who would play you in the film of your life? That’s a tough one! Maybe BenDeLaCreme (amazing drag queen!) as she’s a vintage loving, bubbly personality with a fierce loyalty to her friends. Also her makeup and style is always beautiful - I want to be her when I grow up! Film: West Side Story Song: All Day and All Of The Night - The Kinks Stage Show: Chicago TV series: 7 Up Book: The Beach by Alex Garland Word: Optimistic ![]() Jenny Speedie I guess in our own minds we know our intention even if we don’t portray it in the right way... 69 Jenny is a gorgeous lady- inside and out. She is somebody who when she asks how you are, she really wants to know- even if you end up blubbing on her shoulder. She truly cares. We first met when her equally lovely daughter joined my parents theatre company when I was a teenager. I then got to know Jenny more when I worked at the same school as her. Again, I was drawn to her because her ethics were so wonderful- she put the students happiness before everything, and her lessons were a pleasure to observe- full of laughter, learning and fun. We certainly need more of her! She has recently been diagnosed with ADHD, which has made her reflect on herself now, and a greater understanding of her past... How would you describe yourself? Caring, bubbly, quite loud at times. I used to adore sport and be good at it! I love dancing! I don’t cope well with silence like in a lift or on a bus… I just have to talk …. Usually loads of drivel! Small- (ha,ha) ,very talkative which is generally to cover up the anxiety...though having had thyroid disease since the age of 25, it could be that!!, I can be a pessimist though endeavor not to be. I would say I'm generally very good at reading people and recognising when people need support or encouragement. However, a real failing is sometimes I can over analyse what people say and how they say it, and that can make me paranoid. Recently I was assessed and diagnosed unofficially with ADHD – which makes a lot of sense. 2. How would other people describe you? Friendly, chatty…maybe over chatty at times. I think they would say I appear to be very confident which is not true. I’m often a jabbering wreck inside. I think they might say I’m helpful, though maybe others think I can be bossy…. I guess in our own minds we know our intention even if we don’t portray it in the right way. How did you feel being diagnosed with ADHD later in life? It was relief to me! I have always been both hyper and over analytical especially of people’s emotional responses. I would worry about tone of voice or slight difference in intonation and then ruminate on it ! Apparently this is common in Women who have ADHD. Did a diagnosis help you understand yourself more? It has helped to reduce the going over and over stuff so I can think – this is not me it’s the ADHD! However with it comes the sensitivity of recognising in other people when they are unhappy or vulnerable and help where possible, so it's not all negative. How did you find working in education? I never expected to work in education in the roles I did, and never saw myself as a teacher. I taught a night class teaching at one of the local colleges in Sheffield for some extra money ,and taught human Biology GCSE for several years and A-level biology- though I had no teaching qualification! I think the best teachers don’t necessarily have the best qualifications…how did family life fit into this? I really enjoyed it. After finishing the post doctoral two year research, I was pregnant with Sarah and she was due to the date that my research grant ran out, and so it all felt like it was meant to be. And then you moved back to Derbyshire… I fell pregnant with Pat so that there was just over 3 years between them. We decided we would move back to Derbyshire as John had a new job in Chesterfield and my Dad had died…so we moved to Tansley. You had your own business with your husband… After a little while John decided he wanted to set up his own business designing control software and this all went very well. I worked for the business too. However, after a couple of years during the recession in the early 90s, the business, like many others, was struggling. I needed to be able to independently get a job! So you went back to teaching? I decided the quickest would be to do a one year PGCE. I chose to do this for primary as I already had lots of experience with secondary (GCSE teaching). I loved every minute from then on. I was constantly trying to develop myself in that role and loved it. What does education need now? Greater funding, wider training and far more support for newly qualified teachers especially. We need to be looking at how the children learn best… They do this when they are using a focus that interests them ! What do friends and family mean to you? Family and friends mean the world to me ! My family have always lived in this beautiful area and I love it. It is my base, my grounding and in my soul. My family and close friends are my world- my rocks , my support and my fun. The close friends you have never question why you need them; they are just there! In this mess of a world, what brings you hope? I think I'm generally an optimist about the world. I am very lucky as I have a number of special people in my life both family and close friends- I have a feeling that life will find a way through our myriad of current problems. The things that give me hope are children because they look at the world in a very straightforward way, Animals because their needs are simple and often give unconditional love , and gardens because they are always full of hope and expectation! How would you spend your ideal weekend? My ideal weekend would be pottering in the garden and hopefully the sunshine and the dogs and grandchildren running around. Where is your favourite place in the world? My favourite place in the world is a tricky one to answer . I have travelled to many places and really loved it...but for me to be honest there is no place like home. Film: Gone with the wind Song: Lovely Day- Bill Withers Tv Series: Brideshead Revisited Book: Tess of the D'urbervilles Stage show: Jersey Boys Word: Endeavour ![]() Rob Mosley 41 ‘You can only do what you can with the time and resources you have available to do it. Anything else is an unrealistic expectation…’ I met Rob when we were both TA’s at a secondary school. We became fast friends sharing a love of Derby County and J.R.R Tolkien. He is a very interesting man- in some ways a quiet observer, but once you get talking to him you can have such deep and eclectic conversations. Caring, funny and clever, it’s been fascinating completing this interview with him. He has moved on to a new chapter as a husband and father, which he talks about with great love and honesty. How would you describe yourself? I'd like to think that I'm compassionate, trustworthy and loyal. Bit of an overthinker at times. My view of myself has changed over time and is still fairly malleable depending how I'm feeling. Suppose that would be the same for most people? How would others describe you? I think others would describe me as disorganised, laid back and earnest. It depends on who they are and how they know me… We met working in a school. What do you think of the state of education at the moment? Well, I haven't been at the coal face as it were for almost ten years now, so I'm not sure how valid any opinion I might give would be... It certainly has gone through some changes… Obviously COVID has happened since I left which I imagine was something of an earthquake for all involved. There is also the general background of rising cost of living, coupled with the ongoing conflicts in Ukraine and Gaza. It can be hard to try to explain the state of the world at the moment to young people… I imagine that for most children, to a greater or lesser extent, these things would be cause for concern and worry on top of the pressure to achieve academically which is ever present. How about education in general? The impression I get is that education has much in common with other areas of the public sector. All driven by data and targets with little consideration/lip service for the needs of the actual human beings, supposedly, at the centre of it all! Politics is often the antithesis of passion unfortunately… You’ve become a father! Has it changed your outlook on the world? Fatherhood. Wow, on every level. It's next level busy! Being that responsible for another human being (keeping her alive etc) and the absolute dependency they have on you would be a little overwhelming if you stopped to think about it too much! Luckily being a parent doesn't afford you that kind of time! It's relentless! But you enjoy it? It's the best thing that has ever happened to me. You don't think you can love someone quite that much until it happens. You also become more selfless than you ever imagined you could be. You are clearly smitten though! My daughter is 13 months old at the minute and growing up so fast it's frightening but it is wonderful to see her developing as a person every day. I worry for her life- all parents do for their children. What are the challenges? I think about her future and the challenges she will face (eventually without my wife and I) AI, climate change and the never ending cycle of conflict we put ourselves through as a species. Also, now, whenever I watch things on TV or read things to do with crime or horrendous accidents I almost automatically think, "What if that was her!?!" I’m sure every parent has that fear… Having said all that, she will adjust along with the rest of her generation to the opportunities and challenges that they have to face just as all cohorts before them have done. We share a love of fantasy. What interests you in that world? I suppose that ever since I could remember, I've been interested in things beyond the tangible 'real world'. Things you can't walk out your door and see or experience. When I was very young that was things like space, dinosaurs, Greek and Norse myths and legends, fairy tales etc. I like the escapism and sense of wonder and possibility, I think. I think we speak more about Lord of the Rings than anything else when we chat! I read 'The Lord of the Rings' in my dissertation year as an undergraduate (History). It had sat on my shelf for years prior to that and I decided that I would use it to alleviate the stress of study. It also helped that the films were out while I was at university so there was a bit of impetus to get it finished before the last one came out! I've been hooked on all things Middle Earth ever since. What do you love most about the world? I find it frustrating that Tolkein died before he could fully flesh out his fictional world but I suppose that is also what makes it so intriguing. You have just enough material to make it interesting but not enough for a definitive account. The gap is where your own imagination lives! Where is your favourite place in the world? Probably going to sound a bit worthy but my favourite place in the world is wherever myself and my family and friends are at the same time. Places become special when you can associate them with meaningful memories and they become part of your history. How about historically then? Two of the places that are most special to me are the house that I grew up in and my grandparents house. Both places now only exist in my memory as my grandparents have passed away and I moved out of my childhood home aged seven. Both houses have also been altered and so the place I remember is no longer there. Our old house in Nottingham is the place I moved into with my now wife. We went through COVID there, got engaged, got married, got pregnant and had our daughter while in that house so that place will always be special. The rest is geography and architecture. If you were to push me on a favourite location divorced from that my favourite city is Rome (Florence runs it a close second). I also have a soft spot for Dolgellau in North Wales due to childhood holidays and Stoborough in Dorset as we got married there. Let’s talk DCFC! I attended my first Derby game at the Baseball Ground in 1989 (incidentally the year my wife was born!) and had a season ticket for 17 years from 2006 until 2023 when my daughter came along. I still get to the odd game and I'm hoping to get back long term eventually! What does family mean to you? I find the older you get the greater your appreciation for those closest to you. You develop a real understanding and empathy for what your parents, grandparents and aunts and uncles went through bringing up a family, having a job, running a house etc. Similarly, you are going through all of that at the same time as your friends which is a real bonding experience. Having said that, I am extraordinarily lucky to have been brought up in a very close and loving family. We were never well off financially but I never wanted for what is important in life. When you are young you assume everyone is raised the way you are but as you get older (I have also worked in education, mental health and social work) you come to realise that not everyone is so fortunate. And friends? I have several friends whom I have known all my life and several others I've known for thirty odd years now. Again, I'm very lucky. That kind of friendship and trust is what sees you through in the end. I don't know where I'd be without them! To paraphrase a fairly well known quartet from Liverpool, we all get by with a little help from our friends don't we!?! (The kind that will still need us when we are 64!) What words of wisdom do you have to offer to those struggling with life? Don't worry about things you can't control. Most people greatly overestimate how much influence over events/their lives they actually have. You can only do what you can with the time and resources you have available to do it. Anything else is an unrealistic expectation. Not everything that can be measured is important, not everything that’s important can be measured. Film: Magnolia Song: Time- Pink Floyd Stage Show: A Man For All Seasons TV series: The Wire Book: The Lord of the Rings- J.R.R. Tolkien Word: Labyrinthine ![]() Richard Thoday 60 ‘At any point it is okay to change life trajectory and start in a new direction…’ I met Richard at a secondary school we were both working at. He was automatically a work father type-figure. A brilliant TA, a problem solver… and one of the nicest men I have ever met. He is one of those rare people who is completely selfless. He genuinely wants to help people, and support them in any way he can. When I was struggling with my mental health last year due to work issues, Richard was one of the first to not only message but come and meet me to talk. It turns out he had had a similar experience. He told me that there was a big world outside of my current situation; it was so comforting to hear- and turns out he was right! He is a Guinness world record holder, a fixer of most things, and an all round decent chap. It has been a pleasure interviewing him, and I hope you enjoy the result... I sense a movie of his life in the works [I vote Tom Hanks as lead!] How would you describe yourself? I would describe myself as harmless, slightly lazy but never bored. Disliking of conflict and I like to see the best in everyone. Glass half full rather than half empty sort of person. How would others describe you? ‘Mr Nice Guy’ That’s definitely true! Is that a natural thing for you or do you have to bite your tongue every now and again? Being Mr Nice Guy is not an act, it’s the real me. I don’t know what makes us all different, so many factors that come together, but I really don’t like conflict. I understand that it’s a necessary part of life at times but I’d rather be without it if possible. So how do you deal with conflict when it is unavoidable? Seeing the best in people and living with a glass half full is lovely… but it means that at times I avoid conflict which means that issues go unresolved and build, then I put my head in the sand or run away. How was it working in a school? Working in a secondary school over a period of ten years moved from a challenging, interesting and very sociable experience, one where Mr Nice Guy can thrive and share, to feeling totally defeated, crushed and isolated. It became an unsustainable lifestyle which I had to leave. That particular job is not one for Mr Nice Guy any more. That is so sad… especially as I believe schools desperately need people like you! The thing that still makes me sad is that so much of life is wasted in school both for pupils and staff. There is a huge amount of good work done in schools, but the pupils I worked with on the whole hate being there, as do a lot of staff. That’s probably a sad truth…what is wrong in education nowadays? Education has been with us for a very long time and really hasn’t changed much since Victorian times. Education goes through trends and fads but is still based on the learning of facts which must be remembered and regurgitated in the right way. In general pupils can’t see the relevance of this for future life. Some can do this and will comply but many can’t do this and spend their whole school life railing against it rather than school seeking the skills or passions they have and nurturing them. I have no direct answers but felt increasingly unable to help the misfit pupils who were really crying out for help. I’ve moved through several big career changes in my working life and don’t regret them but I feel disappointed with myself that I could not see a way to resolve issues with school and, as I said before, simply ran away. I think sometimes the bravest thing we can do is leave a toxic situation… on a brighter note, tell us about the penny farthing! Okay so, penny farthing sounds a little random to most people but it’s allowed me to challenge myself in life in a way that I didn’t know was possible both emotionally and physically… breaking one of the oldest existing sporting world records while discovering a thing that brings joy to others. I know, you’re wondering how that comes about. Does it run in the family? I grew up in a non-sporting family. My parents didn’t watch, take part in or discuss sport so it didn’t factor in my life and I hated it at school as school sport needs you to be part of the team, if you’re no good at it you’re sidelined. So how did biking come about? In my thirties as a desperate bid to stop smoking when I became a dad, having tried many other things I took up bike racing and a switch was flicked in my head. I discovered a competitive me hiding deep in the back of my psyche that I didn’t know was there. Competition that was social, fun, healthy and I could control without the team, just me. A bike is one thing, but a penny-farthing… One day as a random change I entered a penny farthing race, as you do! This was really intended to be a one-off day of fun. I’d never ridden one, didn’t have one or know anything about them so it seemed the perfect challenge. I entered a terrifying race with some of the best riders from all over the world on a borrowed bike and came away with my soul glowing. Wow, I didn’t expect that. Did the other riders embrace you? I have no idea what it is about penny farthing riders but they are a different breed and guess what, they are all Mr Nice Guy, a world-wide family and support group. I made many lifelong friends that day and more in the 14 years since. Sounds like it was worth the risk! Plus you broke a 133-year-old record! Riding penny farthings has taken me to so many places and opened doors to so many joyous experiences that I can't believe how easily I could have not bothered with that first race and missed out what is now a huge part of my life. So why should others get involved? One of the most appealing things about riding a penny farthing, and I still don’t understand what it is about the bike that causes this, but if I go out for a ride I can guarantee that I will meet new people. I will have positive conversations that spin off in random ways with people that I would otherwise never meet. We would pass by each other with no reason to speak to each other. The penny farthing is a diffuser and engager which makes people smile. Smiling is good, right? Life without a penny farthing is unthinkable now. Do you have any other hobbies? I have lots of hobbies and genuinely I can never understand people who say that they are bored. I do rather flit from one thing to another and the house is littered with unfinished projects of one sort or another. I can definitely relate to that! I guess a common theme with hobbies is tinkering. I have a garage full of tools which I’m always adding to [although running out of space fast!] I like making, mending, pulling things to bits and generally learning how things work. Do you enjoy learning new skills? Learning new stuff is cool and I so wish that we had YouTube when I was younger. What a fantastic and inspiring resource that is. I’ve learned so much from It. What’s your latest hobby? A recent hobby is drumming in a Bateria Samba drumming Brazilian style with a local group. Totally new to me, very life affirming, great fun and making new friends through it. If you don’t know what Bateria Samba is then just check it out on YouTube. See, no time in life for being bored! Have you always lived in Derbyshire? What is it like living here? I have lived most of my life in Derbyshire. My family moved here when I was five. I spent four years away in further education and then moved straight back. At that time the draw to come back I guess was family and friends, not that fact that it's Derbyshire. To be honest I rather neglected Derbyshire, but over the years since I have grown to love it. The world is full of beautiful places to live and Derbyshire has its cons as well as pros but we are lucky to live in first world conditions with first world problems. Beautiful changing scenery, weather with seasons and wildlife. Derbyshire has so many beautiful places to explore… I am constantly a little embarrassed about how much of Derbyshire I still have to discover despite spending so much time out on bikes riding around the back lanes and tracks. Going away on adventures is always nice but coming home is just as sweet. There’s no place like home… I am hugely lucky to live in a small cottage with a sunny aspect and a view. The sweeping vista south west takes in the Derwent river in the valley, rolling agricultural hills with farms, railway line embankment slicing through the middle it, woods and stands of trees. It’s a fairly average Derbyshire view but I can happily spend hours sitting outside with a cup of tea watching the transitions happening in front of me, some slow, some fast. It's home and I feel part of it having been here so long. I love travelling. By that I mean moving through landscapes as opposed to going to a destination, but I always feel a little uncomfortable when I move away from the solid dark gritstone walls that have been the boundaries in life all around me for as long as I can remember. What kind of father are you? Maybe you should be asking my family this not me! I have a lovely daughter who I always enjoy spending time with. I was lucky enough to be able to quit work and look after her at home when she was born until she was old enough to go to school and we had lots of fun together. What have you passed on to her? I’d like to think that I have always tried to encourage my daughter to pursue the life that she wants and given her the opportunities to try things and not be afraid to be her own person. Did you have the same message as a child? I have to say that as a kid I felt rather restricted in life outlook, I’m sure my parents loved me but I felt stifled and unable to break out in new directions. I wouldn’t want my daughter to look back on life when she is older and wish about missed opportunities, which I do. Do you think it’s a generational thing? I guess it's natural that one generation is moulded by the previous and follows similar traits in all sorts of ways, jobs, religion, diet, hobbies but I guess this becomes less and less true with modern communications, internet, social media etc. All of the ideas and possibilities in life are at our fingertips. My daughter has at times struggled with a very tough career choice and I have made it very clear to her that she has nothing to prove to me or anyone else. I am already immensely proud of her work ethic, principles and support of friends and family. I think it can be scary to change direction in life… At any point it is okay to change life trajectory and start in a new direction as long as she is happy with her life. Has your recent accident given you a new outlook? Breaking a hip is not fun I have to say and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I’m a very active person and also struggle with a condition commonly known as ‘Restless leg Syndrome’ meaning that at times, particularly in the evening and at night I just can't keep my legs still and have to move about and do things, even at 4am when I really want to sleep. Having a broken hip does not work well as a partner to Restless leg Syndrome so I have been finding that really tough. I can’t imagine you having to slow down… There are always silver linings in black situations. After the initial pain and hospital treatment, when I got home and figured out that I wasn’t going anywhere for sometime, I started doing lots of little jobs that never get done in normal everyday rushing around life. Sounds like a new outlook… A bit of time to sit and drink a cup of tea slowly and watch the grass growing is something I wouldn’t normally make enough time for but I’m getting really good at it! Probably the biggest silver lining is that despite trying to retire and spend more time at home with family I’m hopeless at saying no to people so work was constantly nagging me. The accident has really enforced retirement and I no longer have to worry about upsetting people by saying ‘no’, as it's not me, it’s the situation saying that. How was your stay in hospital? Spending time in hospital in a ward of old people with similar injuries is sobering (at the time of writing I’m not old, I’m a youthful 60) and a reminder that time waits for no one and we must, as the Prince Buster song lyric says, “enjoy yourself, its later than you think.” Film: Wall-E Song: Back in Black- AC/DC Stage Show: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time TV series: Shed and Buried Book: The Secret Island by Enid Blyton Word: Marmalade ![]() Chelsea Massey 28 ‘Being creative keeps my mind from spiralling… if I didn't have stuff to make I think It would just eat away at me…’ I met Chelsea ten years ago at the start of my undergrad, and it makes me smile just writing about her. I first ‘saw’ Chelsea on a Facebook page set up by our student digs before we all moved in. For any person stepping into the world of undergrad, it is a wonderful, terrifying and at times bewildering experience. You walk into a new home, a new city, a new way of living- It's a bit like walking into a social experiment- who are going to clash? Who are going to be immediate friends? I'm amazed it hasn't been turned into a reality show yet. As I was scrolling through my potential BFF’s, one picture immediately caught my eye… a girl bear hugging Jared Padalecki, star of Supernatural and Gilmore Girls. Be still my beating heart! I have never be so drawn to somebody and felt so jealous of them at the same time! I messaged fangirl style, asking if the photo was real… I got a fangirl response, yes it was, and was I a Sam or a Dean girl? So then started a friendship I cherish deeply- we lived together in second and third year and I did indeed find one of my best friends- a quirky, kind, and loyal one at that. Whether it is someone to belt out 'Carry on Wayward Son' to, or to have a rant about life, Chelsea is the girl. Thank goodness for comic con photo ops! I love her to bits, and I know I have a special friend for life, and a shorthand which only comes with living with someone [she is also one of the only people I can still message with a Supernatural gif and for her to immediately know what I mean!] A graphic designer, Chelsea is a fierce and unique creative. She works for Twinkl and is also involved in the likes of Doodle Club, a popular event in Sheffield. How would you describe yourself? I would describe myself as a creative person that can't sit still. I like to experiment and try new things. I hate to be in a routine. I'm also a pet loving cat momma of two. How would others describe you? I'm told I'm a little bit quirky (putting it nicely!) because of my interests in all things spooky but also all things nerdy. I like to help whenever I can. So I hope people would describe me as helpful and friendly. You are a huge lover of animals! What do animals offer to our lives? Now that's an easy question on the surface… absolute pure joy! Pets particularly give us a reason to get up every morning, they need food or walking or attention (most of the time in my case, just attention, on a slab of more attention...) This is so true. When I was ill with my mental health, Ronnie my cat would meow at me to get me up and about! They make us smile, make us laugh and somehow always seem to know when you need them most. Even just videos online of a monkey goofing around or a cute little otter relaxing on his back can bring you the happiness that sometimes you need. We lived together in Liverpool- and you fell in love with it as much as I did! I grew up in the very small touristy town of Conwy and when I went to Liverpool for my BA in Graphic Design. I kinda just got blown away by everything. Sure it had a lot of the independent shops and galleries that Conwy had, but everything was four times the size! It felt like I stepped into another world. We had so many adventures! The nightlife was something I haven't found anywhere else, everyone was always out for a good time and the music scene is just something else, it's incredible. So yes, I love Liverpool. It was always good fun and I hold it deep in my heart. We basically met because of the TV Series, Supernatural. What does the show mean to you? Supernatural…well, it went on so long that it saw me through high school, college, my BA and my MA! It had its ups and downs like any show lasting 15 years, but to me it means so much more than just a show. It makes you laugh, it makes you cry… And you were more than your typical fan…you have the tattoo to prove it! I went to several conventions when I was in my teens and I have so many amazing memories of just being with my family and enjoying singing and dancing with them, laughing at the amazing cast and it gave me something to look forward to every year. And, like you say, I met you over Supernatural - it's one of those shows that brings like minded people together and makes unbreakable friendships. For that alone, I’m grateful for the show! What led you to graphic design? In high school I had a graphic arts teacher that really understood my love for typography, photography and layout. She encouraged me to collect bits of designs that I liked and analyse them. Teachers like that are worth their weight in gold Still to this day I have large collections of this stuff that I'm always adding too. Things like beer mats, clothes tags, leaflets. She really helped me to find what types of design I like and try and figure out what I admired about it. I think that's why physical print designs are my favourite projects to take on because I like tactile designs that I can hold in my hands. Did you enjoy school? No, not at all. I enjoyed college and I enjoyed university but I hated school. I didn't get diagnosed with dyslexia until seven years after I left school. It’s worrying the amount of people who discover this later in life… When I was diagnosed, everything just clicked into place. I'm really good with images and visual elements, but when it comes to writing and reading I am terrible at it, so that made school very tough. I would study and none of it would sink in. Now I know why, but at the time it really got to me. What led you to living in Sheffield? In 2016 I went to Offset that was being held in the Crucible Theatre. I think it was the first and last time it was held there but I truly had such a great time. I couldn't afford to go to the main event in Ireland and it seemed a perfect opportunity to see what it was all about. And you fell in love with the city too? I got to meet some amazing artists and designers that all live here and I realised what such a creative, friendly city it was. Long story short but after that, I introduced the city to my sister, who is also a creative, and she came here to study illustration. I followed her up here a year into her studies. You and your sister are very close. What does family mean to you? It means a great deal to me. I currently live with my sister in Sheffield and we are pretty much inseparable. How about your parents? Our parents are still in Wales but we keep in touch almost every single day. I don't get to see them as much as I would like to because it's a long journey without a car…but we take turns coming back and forth from Wales and take trips together every year, so we're very lucky. They never fail to make me smile and I just love them so much. You say you have a love for ‘spooky’ things- can you tell us a bit more about that? Yes, I have a little side business that I've been running for just over a year now called 'Ghostly Outfits'. I make mostly little clay outfits, hats, scarves, headbands… you name it! I do them all for these wonderful little ghosts made by the York Ghost Merchants. What are they? They're highly collectable ghost figurines that I just absolutely love. One day I just started making little outfits for my own collection and I just fell in love with the process. I then ended up selling them on my Etsy because I ran out of ghosts to dress up and they started to sell. Now it's become my way to relax and to make a little money in my spare time. A lot of people find them a little odd, maybe even a little bit morbid, but I just find them wonderful. You have spent a lot of time at conventions… Yes I love them, they let you meet super talented people who you admire. The community around them is what makes them so special. I keep in touch with a lot of people I have met at conventions and it will forever surprise me just how much I have in common with them. What is your ideal weekend? My ideal weekend.. I would say a little trip away to a gorgeous little apartment where I can design or make my little ghost outfits and then wander out in the afternoon exploring in the sun - with lots of great food. Greek is my absolute favourite at the moment! Deep question next which I find myself asking most people at the moment…the world is in such a mess- how do you find hope? That's a tough question, I suppose I surround myself with like minded individuals who give me hope that one day we will be able to make a change for the better. Being creative keeps my mind from spiralling too - if I didn't have stuff to make I think It would just eat away at me. Film: The Crow Song: Machines- Biffy Clyro Stage Show: Derren Brown- Svengali TV series: Supernatural Book: Sandman Slim- Richard Kadrey A final word: Hygge ![]() Tammy Whitworth 54 Do people ever really tell others what they think of you? I don’t think so. I think it’s more of an impression of what we project to others. I met Tammy when she came over from America to teach in the secondary school I was working at. She is such a beautiful soul, and I am blessed to still have her in my life despite her being back in the States. Warm, selfless and kind- her faith shines through. You always feel better after you've spoken to her, and I have so enjoyed learning more about her back story for this interview. How would you describe yourself? I was born into an Italian American family in Connecticut in the late 1960s.We were Catholics but when my parents divorced we were not allowed to have communion and felt ostracised. My younger sister and I had terrible allergies that prompted my parents to move us to a drier climate, and so we moved to Arizona in the mid seventies. I come from a divorced household and as the oldest of three I took on many of our household responsibilities for my working mom. I was a “Tom Boy'' riding motorcycles and shooting targets in the high desert. I was encouraged to excel in school and attended Northern Arizona University in Flagstaff, before following my family to Georgia. I met my husband at my first teaching position in South Georgia. As a Southerner I developed a relationship with God. Our two beautiful and smart daughters were born in this rural area. We moved North to Atlanta for my husband to attend seminary and to have better healthcare for our girls. I have been an art for 27 years in this state and one year as a supply teacher in the lovely Peak District, where my husband received his PhD in Mission Theology. I transitioned from a public to a private school in the second half of my career. I am a recent dog owner and soon to become a grandma. How would others describe you? I feel people would describe me as hospitable, personable, caring and friendly. I am those qualities- I love getting to know people from all walks of life. I love connecting with folks and discovering what their lives are about. Which question was harder to answer? I found the first part of my description of describing who I am necessary to share because it shaped my heart and life choices. I find that question easy. The later question of “how others describe me” is more tricky. Do people ever really tell others what they think of you? I don’t think so. I think it’s more of an impression of what we project to others. There is a quote that I used to have in my bedroom that read, “Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in 1000 years.” I believe that is to be true. What were your first impressions of England? My first impression of England was very comforting. Rain greeted us- surprise! Well, we had to prepare you for what was to come! It was a gentle rain that was so welcomed! In our home state of Georgia we were in a terrible drought that summer. We were not allowed to water our lawns/gardens, wash our cars or even enjoy public pools and lakes. Where did you stay? We stayed in Eyam for our first week, and the day that we arrived there was a well-dressing ceremony. I found it so beautiful and meaningful that people would recognise the huge blessing of water! My second impression of England, particularly where we were living, was how kind, hospitable, and witty British people are! Was anything difficult to adapt to? I was so frightened to try to drive on our narrow lane, leading to our house in Hope Valley. But when I observed how thoughtful and mindful drivers were, it gave me hope that I could master it. I am afraid such manners are not employed where I live in the metro Atlanta Georgia area. What were the differences and similarities in the American and British teaching styles? I honestly felt like there were more differences than similarities between British and American schools, in my opinion. That was a factor in why we returned home when we did. We highly appreciated and valued the primary school education and experience that our children received in our village school. We loved how children were taught how to learn instead of what to learn. We loved the fact that other than “spelling” there was no homework for them. We found they could be children and not have the heavy workload and constant pressure of weekly quizzes and tests. As their headmaster told us when we questioned why there weren't “Friday Folders” brimming with worksheets, quizzes and tests throughout the semester, he replied “the pig doesn’t get better the more you weigh it.” We loved that! And how about secondary schools? I saw the secondary experience at Highfields and that concerned me. I felt like the children had to grow up very quickly taking public transportation and kind of a hands off approach to families partnering with the schools. And what we appreciated in the younger years we didn’t think was as successful in the secondary schools-without quizzes and exams until student’s GCSE, there weren’t short term assessments that help navigate courses. Our systems are just different. My eldest daughter lived in Paraguay, South America during her last year of high school. Now granted, she was coming from a private Christian school and transferring into a private Christian School, but we found their school system more similar to America than the British system. Did you take any traditions back with you? 1) Jacket potatoes with tuna fish 2) Curries 3) Christmas crackers One we did not continue here was driving on the left side of the road!! Was God always at the centre of your life? Not during my high school and college years. My interests were mostly self serving. When I moved to South Georgia in the early 90s I became more involved with a local Methodist church. Is that where you met your husband? Yes, I met him in South Georgia and he became a believer after we began dating. Years later he accepted the call to ministry. Our daughters always grew up in the life of a church community. How do you deal with people who mock Christianity? I notice a surge on social media during Christmas and Easter which can be quite hurtful… Have you heard of or read the book “Live No Lies” by Comer? I haven’t... I've read it once and want to deep dive into it again. It’s a fantastic Christian book that explains how culture has shifted and turned the brunt of jokes and criticism towards Christians. You mentioned before about being a Catholic and how you were treated after your parents divorce… did it ever make you question your faith? I was so young to fully understand my faith. I saw how upsetting it was to my parents and grandparents but it didn’t affect me too badly. In this mess of a world, what brings you hope? My own grown children bring me hope because they are strong in their faith, loving and hard working individuals. But certainly all little children bring me hope! Children are such pure souls that learn so quickly both good and bad. But their purest state is one of love and wonder. And you get to teach the next generation… The older I get the younger I like to teach, because children are fearless in learning… They want more and more of it! I once taught an adult group and it was so sad to me to keep hearing “I can’t do…” children don’t say that until they are told they can’t. We need to embrace their energy… Words of affirmation are so important... “you can’t do it yet” is my reply! Where is your favourite place in the world? I love variety! Can you imagine if every place you went to was the same? How boring! For this reason I can not pick my favourite place in the world. Here are my top 7. In heaven I hope to be able to experience the best parts of each of these at the same time, with my favourite people and foods! #1)Santorini, Greece #2)Southern Caribbean (Tortola, Grenada) #3)Coast or lakes in Maine, USA #4)Hilton Head, South Carolina, USA #5) Jerome, Arizona, USA (Haunted Hamburger Restaurant) #6) Cliff Lane, overlooking Hope Valley, Derbyshire, England #7) Cabos, Mexico What is your ideal weekend? My 94 year old mother-in-law lives with us and has for eight years. My husband preaches on Sundays and I teach during the week, so weekend trips are hard to come by in this season of our lives. When we travel we like to explore the North Georgia Mountains and into North Carolina where there are hiking trails and lots of waterfalls! Bed and breakfasts when we weekend travel is ideal. Do you have a favourite song or piece of writing you return to? This morning I wept singing “The Goodness of God” by CeCe Winens. It’s powerful! Toby Mac’s “The Goodness” is a foot stomping fun song that my heart leaps at! But I love so many styles of music… I still listen to Classic FM from England, but also enjoy jazz, contemporary and pop, especially 1980s! Film: Knight and Day Song: "Canon In D Major”by Pachelbel Stage Show: The Lion King TV series: The Durrells of Corfu Book: The Bible Word: Hope ![]() LAURA TATAM 39 'I’m nice to everyone because that’s my default setting. Nowadays I don’t worry as much if people don’t reciprocate that. I’ve learnt that not everyone is going to like me and that’s okay...' I met Laura when I started working at a Secondary school on my return from Liverpool. She is an English teacher who knows and loves her subject. She exudes warmness. She genuinely cares and wants to make things better for those around her. She has been through a lot in her life, and has, miraculously, come out the other side stronger and kinder than ever. I’m not sure I could have come out the other side such a kind and gentle person. She has taught me such a lot in finding inner peace. She makes me want to be a better person. How would you describe yourself? Ooh now, I’ve never found this easy, it’s like back to the old NRA and writing the personal statement. Be humble but sell yourself! I think I’m kind to all, even those who do me wrong. I don’t like bad feelings and would rather kill people with kindness than nastiness… but I can hold my own if need be. I am head strong and think I have a good moral compass. I love an adventure and to have a laugh wherever possible. I suffer terribly with anxiety and have quite low self esteem which I’m trying to work on. Most importantly, I’m a mum. How would others describe you? I think others would describe me as a weirdo. Bit odd but friendly. Something I have always admired about you is your genuine kindness and love towards people. Is it something you have to work at or does it come naturally to you? I think for so many years I wanted to be liked and I would never want people to think badly of me that I drove myself a bit mad and was so anxious all the time of doing and saying the wrong thing. As I’ve grown up and have a surer sense of who I am and what it means to me to be nice has taken off some of that pressure and anxiety driven worry. I’m nice to everyone because that’s my default setting. Nowadays I don’t worry as much if people don’t reciprocate that. I’ve learnt that not everyone is going to like me and that’s okay. It can be difficult to be nice in this world… I’ve had people treat me incredibly badly, but I still don’t feel absolute hate or illness towards them, and I’m glad as I wouldn’t want to carry that around inside me. It does make me a bit too understanding though, and at times I need to remember just how horrid they are. Anxiety is an awful cross to bear… I’ve often found that it has made me more understanding and kind to others. Have you found that too? Anxiety really is a burden but I do think it makes me more compassionate. I hate to see others go through it and try to be there for anyone struggling- and just anyone- as you never know who is struggling. I think when you know how it feels yourself you just naturally want to help others not feel it. How does that work in your various jobs? Working for the police for example… I’m no pushover and I’ve tackled my share of prisoners and I’ve been incredibly tough when pushed. Sounds like you have a very healthy balance of being kind and not being taken for advantage… I love love and I just like being happy and having equilibrium as much as possible. What you put out you hopefully get back, I like to think the universe knows- and well, karma is a bitch! You are one of those humble people who will suddenly let slip you worked in Australia and for the police… your life does seem to be an adventure… Ahh blimey Ellie! I’m blushing here! Thank you…I’m not one to admire though! I disagree! I’ve always been one for an adventure. I’ve never shied away from a new experience. I have my parents to thank for that, who I guess taught me to never settle, to always go for what I wanted. “You have to go for what you want Locket, it won’t be handed to you on a plate.” A relationship which has always moved me is between you and your best friend… I have a wonderful best friend who believes in me and encourages me, and who always has my back. She’s my soulmate in friend form. Sophie. So as much as I’ve had a very many weird and wonderful adventures, it’s thanks to those around me for getting me there. You’re an English teacher during a difficult time for schools… I think working in schools in any role is hard. I really feel for midday supervisors, they have such a hard job of trying to ensure students stay safe and calm during the only time they have to be free. It must be such a battle. Yes, there are so many unsung heroes in school. How do you keep positive? For me it’s always been about the students in front of me. They make me laugh…they can really tick me off too! I hope I’m fair in my approach and they know there’s a line that you don’t cross. If you can enjoy yourself while learning then it may just stick in your mind. Has becoming a mother changed your mindset towards teaching? I feel it has. I hope whoever teaches Harriette one day does their best by her and that drives me to do the same for these children, but also, she is my priority. There’s no second go around so any annoyances at work I feel I try and let it go. I know you had a very difficult time in your teens and beyond… I became a young carer of sorts when my mum had a huge stroke when I was 14/15, which was hard… but my dad and I overcame things and the huge change in life this brought for us all, but especially my mum. She was so, so sad. It was hard to see someone I loved so much trapped in their lovely body unable to talk or walk and do all the things they loved to do. That sounds horrendous. I remember she wanted to end it all and I was devastated and angry but I realise now how selfish I was being. You weren’t selfish… and I know you did sadly lose her far too soon… She died of a huge brain haemorrhage when I was 17. My world fell apart and I did too. I didn’t care about my A levels, I had a terrible attitude towards my tutor and I didn’t care. I was angry and devastated and I had no idea what to do with all these emotions. There was no therapy back then. So dad and I grieved and put our broken pieces back together in all the wrong ways. Think of a smashed china cup with big gaping holes and the handle stuck on the bottom and it all being held together by sticky tape. We were terrible. Grief is so hard… and at 17, life can be difficult enough… I managed, somehow, to get into Sheffield University to study English and Sociology. My dad asked me not to go. He said he’d lost my mum and he couldn’t stand to lose me. So, I had to go through clearing and go to Derby uni. Your emotions must have been all over the place… I became even more angry and devastated! I rebelled even more, I partied hard and cared about myself less and less. However, I knew what I wanted and I was always head strong. It must have been such a complex time in your life, to say the least… In the depths of depression and anxiety and despair I always had Sophie who had gone away to Hull university. I used to go there and visit her and she’d come back here. Everything was hard but I just had to believe it was okay. Sadly tragedy didn’t leave you alone… In 2022, just as we were about to go in to lock down my wonderful dad died of a massive heart attack at home all alone. I can’t imagine the pain you must have felt… Grief's familiar hand had grabbed hold of me once again. Now I had no parents. I felt like my identity had gone. My support system, the last person who felt like home. The person I called every night for an hour or more. My world ended. I am so sorry. How did you cope? Sophie moved me in with her despite it being lock down and her having a new baby! My rock as ever. I had therapy and with other members of the family I have managed to pick myself up again and appreciate all that life has to offer. And then you had your own health battles to overcome… I found out in 2014 that I’d had a mini stroke and it was a huge blow to me. I felt like a ticking time bomb and that I was going to end up like my mum! Bound to a wheelchair, unable to talk or communicate in any way. I pulled myself around again and got on with life. I’d decided if it was going to happen it will happen and I’d better get busy living while I can. I’ve had Covid five times, developed long covid which has given me ME and lots of medical troubles. I was hospitalised for a week as the Covid attacked me and it goes to your weakest points so I seemed like I’d had a full stroke, I couldn’t talk properly or walk. Again, I picked myself up and had physio therapy and got back to myself again. Two miscarriages later and a very unpleasant experience in love… I’m picking myself up again but this time for my darling girl. Yes, congratulations on becoming a new mum to gorgeous Harriette! Has it totally changed your life around? Ahh becoming a mum, the greatest adventure of them all! I think because I’ve had a life full of adventures I feel completely ready for this one. She didn’t make the easiest of entrances though! It was so hard giving birth under general anesthetic as I didn’t witness her being born and when they placed her on me when I was coming round I had no idea what was going on. I thought I was in an experiment for nature vs nurture. I was absolutely off my face on morphine though! She is most definitely worth it though! She’s my sidekick in life. I’m her mum and she’s my daughter and I can’t wait to take her on adventures and show her what this life is about as much as I can. I’ll try and step back and let her choose her own path and experience her own adventures. I’ll be right here for her every step though. I sing the theme from Gilmore Girls [Where you Lead- Carole King] to Harriette, and no matter if she’s crying, laughing or playing she stops and looks at me the whole time. Thank you for getting me into the series! You are most welcome! To end on a magical note…Harry Potter is a big part of your life. Why do you think it has touched so many people for so long? Harry Potter! Now, I’d love to teach this in universities, I’ve already got a rough scheme of work in my head planned! I’d sign up for that class! I think so many people love it because there’s some part in it that you can relate to. It’s comforting in its darkness that even in sadness good things can come. That there’s injustice and there’s hardship, but how you deal with that determines your life. Who is your favourite character? Harry Potter. I love Dobby and Luna and all the others, but this is Harry’s life and for me I sort of find comfort in reading of how he grows up without his parents and still makes a success of his life. Probably because that resonates with me and my life. It’s also just a bloomin’ great bit of escapism! BOOK: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban SONG: Where You Lead- Carole King SHOW: Hamilton FILM: Dead Poets Society SERIES: Friends A FINAL WORD: Lavaré |
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