Ellie Tomlinson- Wilde 42 'I cannot live without music. It is the one thing in my life that can help me see happiness in the saddest times, and there’s always a song or lyric for the right moment that helps me when I need it...' Ellie is a beautiful soul. I met her in Liverpool outside the LIPA building, where a certain Mr McCartney was giving a music lesson… I ventured alone to LIPA after getting a tip off that Paul was in attendance that day. Although I had made plenty of good friends in Liverpool, I chose to go alone because it felt like a personal experience- and, to be honest, part of me felt silly… but The Beatles were such a huge part of my life, I couldn’t not go. Thank goodness, because Paul McCartney was not the only legend I was going to meet that day! A friendly, bubbly, gorgeous girl approached me, 'Love your bag! Are you waiting for Paul?' I spent the rest of the day with Ellie, which led to countless nights in The Cavern, Jacaranda and someone to Beatle fan girl with…[plus an incredible London trip to see Harry Potter and the Cursed Child… we like to mix it up sometimes] It has been a pleasure to interview this gorgeous lady- enjoy! How would you describe yourself? I’m the most introverted extrovert you’re likely to meet. I love people, I enjoy hearing about other people's experiences and lives and I love the sense of community when there’s a shared interest. I get socially exhausted really easily though, and can get pretty anxious in some outside situations. I’m learning to cope with that part of my negative inner dialogue at the moment! I think I'm an obsessive all-or-nothing person, and when I love it’s with my whole being. This goes for relationships, friendships, hobbies and interests. This can be a blessing and a curse as I definitely wear my heart on my sleeve and people have taken advantage of that in the past. I like to see it as a positive though, as it has led me to where I am today with my lovely family. I cannot live without music. It is the one thing in my life that can help me see happiness in the saddest times, and there’s always a song or lyric for the right moment that helps me when I need it. I’m currently learning more about who I am after a late diagnosis of ADHD! I’ve always felt like a bit of an outsider and never fit in, and it’s all making sense now! How would others describe you? I hope other people would describe me as having my heart in the right place. I am told I'm a good listener as I can listen without judgement of the situation, and am told I'm open and empathetic. I reckon my friends think I'm organised and in control - I'm the “Mum” of the group, making sure everyone is okay, has had food and has got home okay when we’ve had a night out. Overall a Beatles loving, vintage obsessive member of society! How was it being diagnosed with ADHD later in life? That diagnosis has meant the world to me. I have been misdiagnosed with anxiety, depression etc throughout my life so to finally get to the root cause of who I am and why I react to things so strongly is pure validation. How did others react to the news? I feel like people actually believe my struggles now, and the support I've had from family and friends has meant the world to me. I’m understanding more about my brain, the way I think and how I now fit into society. That all comes with a sadness too. If I had known about my ADHD sooner I probably would’ve found coping techniques sooner, which probably would’ve led to me continuing further education. So growing up was a challenge? I struggled a lot at school in terms of fitting in and feeling like an outsider, and as is my wont I decided to run away from that situation, as I couldn’t cope with that feeling. Life is too short to have regrets, but now that I have my diagnosis I'm going to stop putting obstacles in my own way and live life to the full! Okay, you knew it was coming… Let's talk about that little known band from Liverpool… The Beatles! With a name like Eleanor it’s pretty hard to avoid that band isn’t it? I can’t count how many times I’ve been asked if that’s how I got my name! Even though I’m an ‘Elinor’... I remember as a small child listening to Band On The Run as my Dad had it from the 70s, and my Mum had a fair few Beatles albums. The ones I remember hearing most though were the Red and Blue albums, and I used to pore over those sleeves as they were so arty! Those times my folks played music in our old living room in Grange Road North are some of my most vivid, happiest memories as a kid and I loved dancing and singing along to the records. My Mum played Eleanor Rigby to me as a very young child, but I remembered being more impressed by Norwegian Wood! 1989 Help! was released on video and my Dad bought my Mum a copy. She was SO happy and watched it over and over. My eldest Sister then began to obsess over it, so much so the tape went black and white in sections. But when did you go from casual fan to an Apple Scruff? That band has impacted my life from an early age, and I could go on and on about how they’ve influenced me personally. I met my husband at International Beatleweek 25 years ago as he was in a Paul McCartney tribute band (not Macca!) and my life could’ve taken a totally different route. You’ve met Paul McCartney a few times… The first time I met Paul I couldn’t speak. It was May 2000 at LIPA and he was giving a class to the music degree students. I happened to be in the city with my friend and we were given the tip off to go and try and meet him. We waited around for a couple of hours and he walked out of the door towards his car. I was rooted to the spot, and if it hadn't been for my friend pushing me in his direction I would’ve missed my opportunity of meeting my idol. I asked for his autograph and he said yes, and I didn’t have a pen! He had to open his jacket and get a blue ink pen from it (his pocket was like a stationery shop!) and once he’d signed he gave me the pen which I still have! Did you keep your composure? I held it together while he was there, and as soon as he’d driven off and we had waved goodbye I was a blubbering wreck! I had just turned 18 and had met Paul McCartney! The year before I'd been lucky to go to the Run Devil Run listening party in London, the premiere of Working Classical in Liverpool and the Parkinson interview in the studio but this was actually meeting him! Each time has been ultra special. Fast forward to 2015 and I met you in the same spot! What made you come over and say hello? You looked friendly and approachable, and had the guts to rock up to see a Beatle on your own. To have that enthusiasm and excitement about seeing Paul is something I recognised about myself, and as I said earlier I love sharing the excitement with people who have that love in common. I’m so glad I said hello that day as it had led to this lovely friendship! Meeting people in random ways is always a good start to a friendship I find! I’m so happy you did too! And a love of The Beatles also means a love of Liverpool… My Dad used to take my sisters and I on day trips. When we asked where we were going he would say “there and back to see how far it is!” and we’d have adventures together. I remember being REALLY young before the Albert Dock was renovated, and we wandered around the docks to the river, walked around the City and just felt excited to be in such an amazing atmosphere. What made you keep returning? I used to sneak to the City when I was a teenager as it was my happy place. Yes the Beatles kick started my love for the City, but it runs deeper than that. The Scousers are hard to resist! The North West as a whole feels like a separate entity to the rest of the Country, and the morals and working class honesty is an integral part of who Scousers are. You are accepted for who you are, you can walk into a pub and talk to a total stranger and the people have their own style and identity. And now it’s your home again! I spent most of my adult life living in Liverpool, and with a move for 8 years down to Watford I'm now back on Merseyside with my husband in tow. Gee it’s good to be back home! You are now a step-mum too! How are you finding it? Being a Step Mum is such a tricky thing to navigate, and I am so conscious of trying to be a responsible adult while not feeling like a “grown up” at all. I loved my stepson as soon as I met him, and I'm so lucky to have him in my life. My husband's older kids are more like friends as I haven’t been involved in their upbringing, but it’s mind blowing to me that this kind, brilliant, clever, funny young man has developed from the kind, brilliant, clever funny child I met all those years ago. He’s got such amazing, supportive parents so I'm in the privileged position of just being another adult he can chat to and lean on when he needs anything. I still worry about being the grown up though! How did that happen? What’s the best thing anyone has ever said to you? As cheesy as it sounds when my husband said he loved me for the first time. I knew I'd found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and it was glorious to know he felt the same way. And the worst? The one that I'll never forget is as a 13 year old my school PE teacher saying I would be a good dancer if I wasn’t so fat. That crushed me. Dancing was my life at the time, and those words have never really left me. That’s dreadful! I’ve struggled with my weight since that moment really, and for a long time my self worth was attached to how fat or thin I was. I wish I could go back to my 13 year old self and tell them to ignore that sad woman and believe in myself. Do you have any recurring dreams? I don’t have recurring dreams anymore, I'm a light sleeper and I do wonder if I get into REM at any point. When I do dream it’s always vivid and colourful, and ridiculously realistic. When they’re happy dreams it’s lovely, but when it’s a nightmare it can be pretty grueling. I know you are a fan of the TV series The Traitors. Would you be a Faithful or a Traitor? I would be a Faithful. I cannot lie to save my life, and I wouldn’t enjoy the stress of being a Traitor at all. I think I would break down in tears every time I felt like I had betrayed someone I'd built a friendship with. I’m also good at reading a room (thanks ADHD!) so I think I'd be good at identifying micro mannerisms that would give the traitors away. Who would play you in the film of your life? That’s a tough one! Maybe BenDeLaCreme (amazing drag queen!) as she’s a vintage loving, bubbly personality with a fierce loyalty to her friends. Also her makeup and style is always beautiful - I want to be her when I grow up! Film: West Side Story Song: All Day and All Of The Night - The Kinks Stage Show: Chicago TV series: 7 Up Book: The Beach by Alex Garland Word: Optimistic
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